March 13th, 2020
In the planned Rite of Passage on Owey Island I want to bring the "3 Heroes" in need of Initiation together. In fact they are the present "Me" in 2020 and 2 younger selves at crucial moments of my life that might be relevant for the therapeutic treatment of my current state of Bipolar Disorder.
They also symbolize 3 life seasons. The Spring of blossoming potentialities: a 17y old boy in his unique self-created graduation after dropping out of school. The "Summer of Love": a young man and father at the beginning of his 30th in his most creative peak performance in all aspects of his life and the "falling" Autumn of a 45y old father of 2 boys in his midlife/"midwife" crisis.
Instead of working with many different life times, "traumatic" events , childhood, etc. in the context of biographical work within Psychotherapy I focus on just 2 crucial threshold moments of my past and the 1 present in the herenow.
My thesis is: If I can bring the 3 crucial threshold "spacetime coordinates" together and serve the deeper deficits of these moments within a concious Rite of Passage I might enter a breakthrough in my Therapy. A breakthrough is always an opening, a beginning and not a "final end". I do not expect to be fully "healed" from Bipolar Disorder after the Rite.
Just two month before his graduation André escaped a broken educational system and a controlling maternal home to France. Restless he let his finger travel on a Europe map one night at the garden fire circle. „Ireland calls!“ he announced and got a hint from one of his new friends about a no longer inhabited island. The very next day he left the tiny french community without money not knowing in which direction to go. Hitch-hiking all the way he finally arrived on „Owey Island“ irish: Uaigh, meaning "the Cave"..
After a 3 month project as a digital nomad in the Silicon Valley scene of California and another 3 month journey to a rainbow gathering living unplugged and outdoor at the wild golf coast of Baja California, Mexico close to La Paz (Peace)... Rahasya “Ra” returned to Münster, Germany where his 4 year old son had just returned from Thailand. Ra launched a digital peace project with a sun king like creative peak performance and an impressive network of allies not yet knowing how soon and deep he will fall from the sky...
5 years of doing a regular job trying to become a “normal citizen” and to fit in with a second round of family fatherhood, Sap´s “old friend” the Daimon “Bipolar disorder” returned in heavy progression and rapid cycling in his "midwife crisis". Suicidal thoughts sneaked closer and woke him up.. called loud to let himself fall to the deepest ground..just to rise with courage into what he really is while he becomes older and maybe Elder in an accelerating unstable world so much in need of initiated wisdom.
the harmful deficits of the 3-in-1
keywords & notes - will be written out
the missing integration after returning home from his vision quest to Owey Island
No wise Elders to welcome him home, acknowledge and confirm his courageous initiation and help to process/integrate his experience in the "ordinary world" supporting his deeper calling and contribution to the "tribe" aka society and giving him "a new name"
"Oh my god, no school leaving certificate! This will end badly" "Now you need a job training" "You need a job" "Why have you fucked up instead of finishing school like everyone else ? You will end up in the gutter"
keywords & notes - will be written out
From hypomanic to manic
From serving family & society with his unique skills in an authentic peak performance in all aspects of his life to an egocentric, narcissistic "all-about-me".... misusing his clever charisma to manipulate and control and finally blaming others for his fall.
keywords & notes
Late Autumn - fitting double meaning: "fall"
still mourning the loss of summer where he was at his best..peak performing in all aspects of his life. A strong, healthy, good looking body, loving fatherhood in a peaceful patchwork, friendships, sexuality, work/calling, purpose & vision, doing something that makes sense and helps others, spirituality, etc.
Still carries enormous guilt from his "fall". Immense fear of his powers (or more specific: fear of misusing them again with a narcissistic ego so better not use them at all) . Since his "fall" at the peak of his summer 16y ago he oppressed his Powers and internalized them into a detonation chamber. Hypomanic force turning inwards in fear of the manic episodes causing harm in the outside.
Fear of upgrading his HumanOS (human Operating System) which happens faster and faster...could mean that his surrounding becomes more and more alien to him - or he: an alien in his surrounding place of residence. Can´t change place of residence: his second son 4y old lives here. He´s present as a Father in the week life.